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Balance | Masculine & Feminine Energy

Writer's picture: Dana Reed MatthewsDana Reed Matthews

I was surprised to learn that New York is considered a masculine state and Florida a feminine one. I had no idea until I came across a woman on YouTube a few years ago who was explaining the masculine and feminine energies of various places, objects, and people in the world. It was incredibly fascinating. This led me to explore the topic further, and I discovered that I was operating in masculine energy. I hadn't realized it before, but as I learned more, I understood that this might have been contributing to the issues I was facing in my life at the time. It felt like I was working against myself.





From a young age, I learned the importance of taking care of my responsibilities and working for what I needed. I viewed this approach as essential for survival and living. I trusted myself to prioritize my own well-being. Adopting this mindset allowed me to cultivate a stable mental space through my masculine energy, which later extended to providing stability for my children as well. I didn't see anything wrong with this way of thinking.


She went on to explain that in a relationship, the energy is 100 percent present on both sides, both masculine and feminine. At that time, I was still unaware of the extent of power women had in directing the energy in the dynamics of a relationship. You know the phrase that says, "A happy wife is a happy life." That started to make more sense once I realized exactly what meant. Men need the opportunity to embrace their masculinity, and we should allow them to do so. In other words, he can't be "the man" if you have his balls tucked away in your purse.


For instance, as the woman in the relationship, if you are exhibiting seventy-five percent masculine energy, it leaves your husband with only twenty-five percent to handle the masculine tasks we anticipate from them. When we feel let down by our husbands or partners due to their shortcomings in meeting our expectations of a man, we must also reflect on ourselves to ensure we're providing the support needed for them to achieve those expectations.


What does a woman operating with high levels of masculine energy as a woman, look like? This can look different in everyone. For me, it was about having control and the capability to maintain it. I genuinely believed that if I didn't handle something, it wouldn't be done. And even if it was done, it wouldn't meet my standards. So, I felt I had to take charge. This also manifested in my need to be right, and even when I was, I felt compelled to prove it. Additionally, it appeared in my reluctance to ask for help and feeling offended if help was offered and sometimes rejecting it. I always felt like I could manage everything on my own. When I began to examine these aspects within myself, I understood that I wasn't allowing my husband the opportunity to express his masculinity in those areas. I didn't give him the chance to provide the reassurance I needed in the relationship to feel secure and confident enough to take charge.


I continue to this day to unlearn the conditioning instilled in me from an early age by the church, religion, and society. I am still working on unlearning the habits that lead me to express masculine energy as the dominant force in how I navigate life. I now understand how living this way can obstruct building relationships, making my husband feel inadequate. Imagine a man trying to fulfill his role for a woman who thinks and acts like that. If we, as women, truly feel like "I got it, I don't need you," then what motivates him to prove otherwise?


This topic seems to be gaining more attention, yet it's still insufficiently discussed.I've observed that when people discuss masculine and feminine energy, they often associate it with gender roles, which isn't accurate. During a therapy session, my husband and I were surprised when the therapist mentioned that it's absurd to view masculine and feminine energy as functioning in that way. We are currently in the era of technology and knowledge, and relying on others to provide us with information can lead to ignorance about the changes that are necessary.


I'm not claiming to be an expert on this topic, but I hope I've shared a few insights for you to consider. If this resonates with you or if you want to explore it further, I encourage you to do your own research. There is plenty of information available to help you get started. Personally, it has significantly influenced how I approach things, and it has enabled my husband and me to navigate our marriage with a more harmonious ebb and flow.


Opps...Looks like we are at the bottom of our teacup. Thank you for sipping with Freshly Brewed.

Loc'd Lotus

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