i think i figured something out today. He did this a couple of times. He'll explain a story to me that I was a part of and tell me not how it happened.  I've learned to stick to the facts to ground myself in REALITY.  He always wants to spend all the time talking about the context that makes the scenarios different but never wants to address the foundational similarities the facts.  I feel like he get aggravated when I catch I'm in a gaslight and me grounded to reality in facts, he cant handle.  when i call him out on it he says i think my reality is always right. our context may be different because our perception is different but the facts are across the board in both realities. this happens a lot but i am going to start this real scenario thread with a couple of conversations we had tonight. I was blown away!

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Still a big disconnect with making him understand that until trust is build telling me what you are not going to do anymore means nothing.  You're not a man of your word. 

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he said he needed a new brush to clean the shower. i bought one and it sat infront of the shower for over a week.  he said at first he felt like he was the only one that did anything around the house so he did want to do it. THEN he says i need do start doing the things I want him to do and he'll catch on. this communication style seems like the perfect recipe for miscommunication. i asked to be told directly. 

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do you have to be whole when you come into a relationship.  what does being whole look like?

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said i cant stand to hear when I'm wrong

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bottom line is we agreed to write emails to reflect how we see each other in the dynamic.  when you place two mirrors in front of each other the reflections turn into never ending reflections....a portal to eternity.